its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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