1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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