Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  In the future we'll all be gay

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  (586): In the future we'll all be gay http://tfl.nu/j6qt
  Replies (7) Good night (1433) Bad night (885)
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  (530): View more from California

  No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.

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  (530): No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here. http://tfl.nu/k9so
  Replies (33) Good night (2465) Bad night (1095)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum

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  (503): Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum http://tfl.nu/wrcg
  Replies (26) Good night (4601) Bad night (555)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.

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  (503): Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy. http://tfl.nu/7ct1
  Replies (11) Good night (636) Bad night (3130)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.

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  (803): When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking. http://tfl.nu/3yj1
  Replies (10) Good night (5588) Bad night (812)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.

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  (715): Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina. http://tfl.nu/6q39
  Replies (290) Good night (4185) Bad night (2739)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet

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  (207): I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet http://tfl.nu/5wz6
  Replies (12) Good night (9128) Bad night (1170)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.

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  (606): I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships. http://tfl.nu/4vx4
  Replies (10) Good night (1196) Bad night (1248)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.

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  (416): juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning. http://tfl.nu/mbo9
  Replies (12) Good night (1666) Bad night (897)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.

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  (561): well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement. http://tfl.nu/wjgp
  Replies (10) Good night (764) Bad night (1779)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.

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  (919): being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her. http://tfl.nu/7get
  Replies (13) Good night (1924) Bad night (501)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.

  (1-410): View more from Maryland

  Um, OK. WTF?

  (410): View more from Maryland

  The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.

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  (410): Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy. (1-410): Um, OK. WTF? (410): The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times. http://tfl.nu/4f6p
  Replies (24) Good night (2603) Bad night (443)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead

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  (907): I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead http://tfl.nu/kczi
  Replies (4) Good night (868) Bad night (305)
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  (914): View more from New York

  I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.

  (216): View more from Ohio

  Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.

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  (914): I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer. (216): Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro. http://tfl.nu/w82v
  Replies (2) Good night (645) Bad night (525)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.

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  (612): I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin. http://tfl.nu/dn4i
  Replies (1) Good night (291) Bad night (499)

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