winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.