it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.