Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  had another sex dream about alec baldwin...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (828): had another sex dream about alec baldwin... http://tfl.nu/qec0
  Replies (32) Good night (1468) Bad night (4515)
• Favorite

  (600): View more from

  I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (600): I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans http://tfl.nu/5cg9
  Replies (6) Good night (3684) Bad night (559)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous? http://tfl.nu/rvj0
  Replies (119) Good night (1008) Bad night (5312)
• Favorite

  (831): View more from California

  I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (831): I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency" http://tfl.nu/zhku
  Replies (9) Good night (4000) Bad night (960)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (517): I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall... http://tfl.nu/myki
  Replies (18) Good night (9924) Bad night (2164)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink. http://tfl.nu/sq0r
  Replies (11) Good night (821) Bad night (3632)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon. http://tfl.nu/dn2m
  Replies (15) Good night (1378) Bad night (1707)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time http://tfl.nu/cp50
  Replies (3) Good night (546) Bad night (2218)
• Favorite

  (458): View more from Oregon

  I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.

  (350): View more from

  You are my idol.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (458): I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation. (350): You are my idol. http://tfl.nu/xq85
  Replies (21) Good night (3355) Bad night (965)
• Favorite

  (556): View more from

  Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (556): Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard http://tfl.nu/2l07
  Replies (10) Good night (2064) Bad night (691)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward. http://tfl.nu/eiym
  Replies (6) Good night (743) Bad night (1755)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (484): pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you. http://tfl.nu/yyvw
  Replies (2) Good night (1620) Bad night (596)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.

  (1-471): View more from

  That's all you talk about when you are wasted.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (417): So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history. (1-471): That's all you talk about when you are wasted. http://tfl.nu/3q4b
  Replies (13) Good night (2592) Bad night (923)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello. http://tfl.nu/2jqd
  Replies (6) Good night (756) Bad night (1662)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment http://tfl.nu/hzml
  Replies (1) Good night (828) Bad night (170)

Randomize