she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
