3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
