yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Randomize
