a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize