Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Randomize
