...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Of course I have a pirate flag
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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