didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
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