My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
