found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
