i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
