if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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