god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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