You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
