he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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