Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I want to make a zoo with you.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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