I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Randomize
