Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
