when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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