Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
