Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
