Rock
Scissors
Fuck
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
