yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
