I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
