1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
You dont lie about slip and slides
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
