Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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