Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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