She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
