the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
