it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
