Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
