What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Ladies don't puke and tell
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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