Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
