***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
