we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
