i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
