So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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