my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Betty ford says i'm here all night
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize
