GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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