He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
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I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
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Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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