Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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