a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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