i jhust puked up my retainher.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
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