yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I am mentally ready for anal.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
