So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
