doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
And then my night got REAL pukey
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
