Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Never underestimate the power of titties
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
