if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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