I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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