so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Randomize
