Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
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The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
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you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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