this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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