Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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