hotel room ftw
We won't sleep together?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
