Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
