Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
