His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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