she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
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