Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
