to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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