They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
