Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Randomize
