U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
