i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
